Wow, haven't been on in forever.  I've joined Spark People and it's amazing.  I'm not doing as well weight-wise as I'd like, but I'm being much more consistent.  My current calorie intake is between 1200-1400 a day and I'm working on running 12 miles per week.  I'm doing my first 5K this month on th 21st and I'm hoping I'll get it done in 35 minutes (about an 11 min/mile pace).  It's a very motivating site and I'd highly recommend it to everyone.

www.sparkpeople.com

I'm on there as kimdobbin82 if anyone is interested.

period came today.  really thought I was pregnant this time.  so bad day.

I can't stop obsessing.

I'm googling early pregnancy symptoms and deciding they all apply to me:
- breast tenderness
- nausea
- mood swings
- food aversions
- heartburn
- frequent urination

Of course, most of these are also PMS symptoms, but it's the heartburn and food aversions that are doing me in.  Normally I would want a pan of brownies right now and I have no desire to eat any chocolate at all.  and I've had heartburn for like 5 days and I don't get it like this.  I get it sometimes after certain foods, but this is happening while I run or just randomly.  and I'm peeing a LOT.

Guess I'll find out in about a week...

Still not doing great.  147.4 this morning and all my pants are tight.  I'm now determined to drop 10 lbs.  I was reading through an old Self magazine and they did this whole spread on your "Happy" weight.  I took a little quiz and my "happy" weight is 129.  It didn't make me feel happy.

Anyways...

food plan:
oatmeal - 2
coffee - 0
tuna salad on light bun - 5
apple - 1
yogurt - 2
grilled chicken - 6
broccoli - 0
rice - 4 
activity points = -3
dark chocolate almonds - 3
total = 20

I'd really like to get a food scale.  I think I'm going to have to move that up on my shopping list priorities.

Grumpy this morning.  but that's how I get when I'm woken up and dont' get enough sleep.

Food Plan for today:
Breakfast
lite English muffin w/spray butter and 1 tbsp grape jelly - 2 pts
coffee w/creamer - 1 pt
banana - 1 pt
Lunch
turkey sandwich - 5 pts
apple slices - 1
yogurt - 2
Dinner
Southerwestern foil packet chicken (recipe on Kraftfoods.com) - 8 pts
salad - 0
Snack
dark chocolate almonds - 3
Activity Points = -3
Total = 20

I planned out my meals for the week (for dinner) so I know what I'm having and how many points it is.  I'm planning to run each night after work with the dog, unless it's raining and then I'll hit the gym.  I have Friday off work b/c Sunday is my 1 year anniversary.  I took it off thinking we'd be at the beach this weekend, but that didn't pan out.  So I just have the day off.  I think it will be nice.  So crazy to think that a year ago I was in North Carolina getting ready for my wedding!

I'm trying to break in my new shoes that I got for my brother's wedding (it's a week from Saturday).  They are killing me today.  They are very cute heels from Banana Republic with a strap that goes across the top of my foot and that is very tight at the moment.  So hopefully I can wear them a few times before next Saturday and they won't kill me at the wedding.  I'm still waiting to find out what reading I'm doing.  I'm a little stressed about it.  I'm worried about a panic attack coming on.  Used to be I didn't get nervous about public speaking, and I still feel like I shouldn't.  But I can just see a panic attack coming on just to ruin my day.  I'm thinking about not having any coffee that morning, but then I'll just end up with a migraine during the reception.  I wonder if I can get my hands on a Xanax before-hand...

I AM SLACKING

I was lazy this weekend.  I drank a lot of wine Friday night and ate pizza rolls.  I didn't workout.  I tried to run with my dog this afternoon, but there were other dogs all over and we only did a mile.  I'm not eating the rest of tonight, just tea until bed.

My brother's wedding is in less than 2 weeks.  I need to get on top of my game.  I also just realized that my 1 year anniversary is next Sunday...wow, time flies.

So, I'm planning to have some more tea, then plan out dinners for this week and my outfits for work, then laundry and some reading.  My husband is drunk, but upstairs at the neighbor's right now.  My hope is that he passes out soon.  My other hope is that I'm not typing these words next week.

I know I can do this if I just focus.

up to 148.2 this morning.  i'm being weak-willed.

Today's food:
oatmeal w/splenda - 2
salad w/light ranch - 2
turkey sandwich - 5
yogurt - 2
grilled chicken - 5
salad - 2
green beans - 1
dark chocolate almonds - 4
activity points - -3
Total = 20

I need to cut carb sides (like rice, potatoes, stuffing, etc.) from my dinners and stick with 2 servings of veggies.  I also need to cut out fatty desserts, like the Haagen Daz ice cream I stuffed in my face last night.  I'm going to the store tonight to pick up some spray butter, Splenda, marinade, and Emerald Nuts Dark Chocolate Almonds.  I was trying to cut out the spray butter and Splenda, but I've only gained since doing that.  So I'm back to it.

Hopefully the scale will be a lower number tomorrow.

it's been a while since I've been on here, but it's the same old, same old.  I'm up in my weight, I'm counting calories again, trying to get back down.

I was 146 on Monday.  Mark and I went to Canada two weeks ago for vacation, I gained a lot there.  My clothes are tight and it's depressing.  So I'm on a 1200 calorie a day diet and I'm doing pretty well so far.  I was down to 144.8 this morning.  I'm trying to get back into running every day.  I didn't work out for 3 weeks and I can feel it. 

I also want to lose some weight now b/c Mark and I are going to start trying for a baby next month.  It's better to get pregnant at a lower weight so I want to lose 10 lbs.  I took my last birth control pill this past Thursday, get my period today or tomorrow and then we start trying.  I guess we'll see what happens.  I'm not sure how long the birth control stays in your system, so it could take a few months.  I need to make an OB/GYN appointment too.

anyways.  i just want to be healthier.  stop eating processed crap, get my body as healthy as it can be.

new meal plan

daily caloric intake = 1270
5 meals per day = 254 calories per meal

carbs (in grams) per meal = 25 g
protein per meal = 29 g
fat per meal = 6 g

Food Examples

Carbs:
- oatmeal
- sweet potatoes
- whole wheat bread
- brown rice
- whole wheat pasta
- corn, peas
- broccoli, carrots, cauliflower
- green beans, lettuce, peppers
- spinach, zuchinni
- apples, bananas, grapefruit, grapes

Protein:
- eggs/egg whites
- chicken breast
- turkey
- lean red meats
- tuna
- fish

Fats:
- canola oil
- natural peanut butter
- olive oil
- flaxseed oil
- fish oils

this is my new plan, I'm determined to make it work.  I need food a scale.  and I need to go shopping.
- pears, oranges, pineapple

it's official - I'm obsessed with Twilight.  I started book 4 last night and then proceeded to have a dream about it.  Unfortunately the dream was about how they were ruining the book with the next movie, but I was still dreaming about Twilight.  Mark gets annoyed with I sit and read, but I will probably end up finishing the book this weekend anyway.  Then be depressed b/c it's over.

Today's weather is gorgeous.  It's sunny and mid-70's.  This weekend will be in the 80's.  I need to shave when I get home.  I wish I could find a spot to lay out in too, I'm very pasty.  I'd like to get my warm weather clothes out of the garage this weekend and put the winter stuff away.  I might need another storage box, though.  But it so exciting to get those clothes out.  I forget what I have and it's like shopping!

The cat is in getting neutered today.  i have to pick him before 6 tonight.  I'm off work at 12:30 and I plan to hit the gym, then get cleaner and clean the cat pee from the apartment.  Exciting day.

I'm a little miffed about food today.  They had bagels yesterday and I was hoping there'd be some leftover so I could eat one today, but they are gone.  And there's Nutri-Grain bars and danish in our office for Friday breakfast.  I don't really have money to buy something, but I might have to so I'm not hungry during my workout.  I guess we'll see.